someone get that fucking seahorse.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
