went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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