So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she smelled like a LAN party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
