Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
