If i come over, it means nothing
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
