I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
