There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
