you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
