It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
