I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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