He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
