sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
