Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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