Don't you send me to vm
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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