I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
