i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
