he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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