If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
