I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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