so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
