Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
