i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
