I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
