dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we made out on top of his cat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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