Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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