So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
