I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
