I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
