yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
