They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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