watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
