my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
