girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
