Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
