just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
