I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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