12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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