Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize