bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
