There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
