hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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