Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
