You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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