So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
