Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's blow job season.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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