Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
