I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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