its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
