the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
