bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
