this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
