grandma shit on top of the toilet
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
