i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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