i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
