i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
