escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
