he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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