yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm jealous of your bromance
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
