I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
